two weeks of not updating & i've been putting the blog on hold ..

seriously, i've got alot of things to blog about but i just couldn't find the time to do so.. *sigh* something changed during the 2weeks-mia.. i guess, i did.. i don't really know. things have been better, much better after Bai came back into my life.

before i blog about anything, i would like to wish a belated birthday to all the September babies.
first of all, happy 5th birthday to Azhar which falls on the 11th of September. eventhough he just turned 5years old, he's been fasting full day sinced the first day of the fasting month & he will be rewarded by me if he managed to complete one whole month.COLLAGE OF AZHAR :)
next was, Bai's 20th birthday which falls on the 17th. YOU-MADE-MY-HEART-SMILE.
followed by, Nadiah's sweet 16th which falls on the 19th. sorry Nadiah, i couldn't turn up for your birthday celebration but no worrys, i've your present ready with me alr, rapist :)& lastly, happy birthday to Syakir who just turned 16th yesterday, 21st. im sorry because i actually forgot your birthday & don't forget to share your prezzies with me :D

.. .. .. ..

7 more days to Ns & i haven't start on my prepatory work for Art. great.. this is me, last minute. i know, im going to struggle & end up not doing anything. today is the last day of school but i didn't bother to came & i have self-declared holiday sinced the 18th ; the day where i got PUNK'D by NUR SAHEERA TAN. heart burning yet hilarious.

suprisingly, i was able to fell in love with Mr.Potato, again but it last for only a week & on the 13th, we went to breakfast together with him. ONE WORD : DISSAPOINTED thankyou to you people who fulfilled my wish on having pizzas for our breakfast, it was nice indeed but park wasn't the right place. i just find the breakfast-ing together was a mistake & i didn't enjoy every moment of it at all *SIGHS* on the 20th, which is the last Saturday, yaya, asha & i was supposed to Geylang together but end up only asha & i went. it was fun indeed & i did enjoy that outing but it could have been more fun with yaya around. what more with Inda sticking with me & the jokes that brighten up my day. ps : ASHA, YOU MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD & WHEN I GOT HOME, i got HICCUPS. we even bumped into Syed Azmir who looks like a "poch". i've made up my mind, this year Hari Raya gonna be different from the past few years, no more wearing malay traditional costumes instead im going to wear punjabi dress. i thought i'll be the only one wearing that in the family but auntie said she been wanting & planning that too *erghs* will be going down to Serangoon this Wednesday to get them. im so sexcited, can! :D im gonna get my hair done as well by the end of the week. howeverrr, im not looking forward for Hari Raya though because of Ns ; sucha spoiler.

3 more hours to breakfast & i can hear my sotmach starting to rumble *OMG?* currently, im craving for HOME-MADE PITA from WANEHHH. last week, she ask NEHHHBRO to send me one packet of her HOME-MADE PITA & after eating, i could sleep so well. i wonder what she had stuff inside & till now, i've been craving for it. one of these week, im going over to her house to breakfast together & im going to ask her to teach me how to make the wonderful pite. obviously, mine will taste better than hers! PS: yaya, FED EX me my Old Chang Kee before 630 :D

the 3 "friends" : peggy, tess & ella


" too cool .. for you "


Mitchie Torres: [in canoe] I don't think we're doing this right.
Shane Gray: What, you don't like going in circles?




"you're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing"

* scroll down to see the pictures *

CAMP ROCK was awesome! i loved it! Camp Rock is so much better than High School Musical. it was so fun & hilarious that i even wanted to jump into the tv. PS : i hope Camp Rock 2 would be even better

i love the Jonas Brother especially Joe Jonas. i also thought that Demi has a fantastic voice but was not a very good actress since she simply smiled the entire movie. i also find that Tess is meaner than Sharpay, right?! the only part i like in the movie was when Demi & Joe sat beside the lake or something & then Joe played " gotta find you " & neither of them realized he was actually singing about her. " i was like * omg * it's SHANE GRAY! & i *melted* upon hearing him singing that to her " He is so effing hot & i find him a charismatic guy that i can't help but hear the song over & over again.

overall, the movie was the best that disney channel has made :)

SCORPIO ; SEPTERMBER 06,2008
..
LOOK WHAT IS SAYS!
..
today you should trust your instincts when getting to know someone new. whether it's a positive feeling or perhaps a warning bell going off in your head, listen to what your inner voice is saying.
--
means, follow your heart?

recently, i've been contacting back with him & only three person knows about it ; WANEHHH, MOMMA & OBFF. the shocking thang is, both WANEHHH & MOMMA asked me the same question " what does he want? you guys are back together alr? " except for wanehhh said it in a totally rude tone & i know why. i was like WHAT THE FUCK, OBVIOUSLY NO! its not that easy baby because the hatred feeling is still there & i can't bring myself to forgive him yet. this has affected my N level ; i couldn't concentrate & during all the papers, you were in my mind all the time *sighs* idk what i should do/ feel right now, all i wanted is for HIM to get out of my life as well as that biatch.

i just realised something. for the past few weeks, i've been spending most of my time with OBFF. thats a good sign :D at the same time, we're able to build back our broken friendship & i hope you still remember your p.romise you said earlier on.
* we will still keep in touch even after we've go on our seperate ways, even after we've used the walkeys *
dear OBFF, we've grown up together for _ years through laughter & tears & on this special day, i would like to wish to a most special friend, a happy birthday! eventhough the surprise for you didn't went on smoothly, still i hope you had enjoy your day. thankyour for all the past we had & the current we're in! ILYOBFF :)

dearest yaya just informed me, someone accused me of being a spammer at the sec 1 sarah blog * you people just wait * im so going to write an entry especially for no life kiddos like you! thankyou so much for the information girlfriend :) & i miss all those time going out with you, one day after Ns, okay? be happy always with sheedsheed *winks*

its only the fourth day.
three and almost a half day of fasting & now idk how many coming days im going to waste. thank you so much red monster, you came at the wrong time!

N levels just started & i feel that, ... Malay was easy, just easy, not = too easy as well as the LC eventhough its abit tricky. Same goes for English & SS was the killer. most of the topics that i studied for didn't came up, only one did but because i didn't understand that topic, i couldn't anwser my essay & SBQ was alright. thats about it, next few papers will be on the 29th onwards. thankgod! i still have time to do revisions.

sinced i couldn't fast, straight after school metup with OBFF to WM. together with Shahidah, we head to Shop&Save first because i wanted to buy Sushi, which i've been craving for idk how many days ago, for breaking my fast later on. next was to the library sinced we've nowhere to go & non of them wanted to head home straight. ber"puase" katekan.. *giggles* we were busy looking up names with meaning, critisizing celebrities even though its fasting month right now. bububut its not as if we were bitching about them, saying bad things, we were like " omg. if she didn't wear makeup, she'll look real ugly,right? .. oh, she's married? both divorce & now married. aren't they ashame " ah, stuff like that. i had a good laugh looking at Shahidah imitating the Susuk woman & i even video-ed it but she wouldn't lemme show it around so i woundn't be uploading it here but i will bluetooth it to everyone, FOR SURE :D till one of the Makciks sound-ed us with that, you know kinda tone " eh hello, nie library, tolong senyap sikit! " OMG. A MIDDLE-AGED LOOKING AUNTIE SAYING LIKE THAT DURING FASTING MONTH. if not because of the fasting month, i would have anwsered back at her, FOR SURE! eeee. just wait! if i see you again after the fasting month, im gonna get even with youuuu! muahahha!

2 & a half papers down & 3 & a half papers more to go *jiayou* tryna motivate myself -_-

1st day of fasting, thankgod, it was alright :) i managed to pass a day & i hope for the next coming 30days too

the day was spent with OBFF&_. we killed time by going over to Woodlands to study. No, not at Civic or anywhere comfy but at some blocks a few kms away from Causeway. it was hell i tell you, we had to climb a flight of stairs & walked quite a long distance. whats more, the both of them weren't walking but running, they walk superly duperly fast that's why i say, not walking but running *repeating repeating* i was left behind, alone, trying to catch up with them. hmmmph! sesungguhnyer aku tengah berpuase.. we didn't went there to study but to settle some conflicts. NO, we did study at first, for a few minutes afterwhich followed by exchanging grandma stories. close to 5 we walked off & trained back hom. didn't dropped by the bazaar just beside the mrt because _________. sorry boy, next time. i didn't know that we were going to Woodlands in the first place, i though Bishan :D

we had a feast for break-fasting. from left to right = food, top to bottom & center = food. *omg* but it was deli-cious! * im growinggggggg even _____ , thanks so much eh! *

1 more day left *jumps jumps*

TIMECHECK : 12.25am

i just got back from Geylang Serai half an hour ago. was there with OBFF&_ & YAYA&_ for the Open Ceremony of Geylang Serai Hari Raya Light Up. i got annoyed/irritated at times because of that problematic guy but overall it was awe-some! OBFF & i had fun crazying, catching up & sharing stories, critisizing passer-bys especially the throwing of babis & small kiddos while waiting for Farrel & Fitri to arrive. Our purpose of going there was just to see Farrel & Fitri face to face but we only managed to see them through the scree -_- no difference, might as well i stayed at home & watch CintaFitri rather then going all the way there to see how they look like in real life. we were just a feww cums away from them, if only we got there earlier.. TELL ME WHOS FAULT IZZIT RIGHT NOW? obff, obff, obff *giggles*

8.32pm was the arrival of Fitri & Farrel but was delayed till 9plus. fireworks was shown for two times & for both times i was screaming like a madd woman, it was beau-ti-ful i tell you! i got videos of it but couldn't upload because blogger is being sucha bitch. so, next time yeah yeah? we left halfway to meet YAYA&_ & off to HaigRoad for our late dinner-cum-supper. trained back home & reached close to 12. upon reaching Gombak, i ran from the station to doorstep, not because im scared of parents locking me out but because im scared of Mr Ghost. all because of OBFF& stories *roll eyes* zip open & throw it up high - GLADIATOR WAS THE KILLER. sorry MS LEG :D

i still feel that yesterday's trip to school was a waste. both W & U didn't turn up for teacher's day thang. i think i better hit bed now because i gotta wake up at 7 tml. ITS SEVEN MIND YOU! what the fuck.

friend : next week is alr N level, have you studied?
me : FOR REAL? (referring to the N level) no.
friend : duh! * giving me the -_- look *
..
teacher : you people, next week is alr your N & you're still slacking, sleeping during exams blah blah blah ..
alep : WHAT? N LEVEL NEXT WEEK?
me : ahh, duhh!
..

..

infact, the first paper is less than a week & im not prepared yet. im not kidding, you'll see me happy-go-lucky-ing with the no-worried-face in school, everyday. proof? from the prepatory exam that we had just now. im supposed to be studying & mugging for SS last weekend but i didn't because i was sick. as a result, during SS just now, i didn't do anything. either i was busy sleeping or joking with the people around me. nono, not only me, but the whole lot of 4N2. i can see Mr Pandian shaking his head as well as Ms Yee who didn't even bother to push, forced us to do. same goes for English, for the first half an hour, everyone was quiet & did their papers but after Mr Mazlee step out of the class, everyone turns into a devil ; do the stuff that we always do. for the next few days, will be the same too, i guess.

im still hackcare-ing with studies, how to get promoted to sec 5 this way?! if this goes on, i think i'll just have to forget about going to sec 5 & continue studying at ITE which likely will happen. i don't have any confidence & there's nothing to motivate me to study, howww? *sighs*

its making me stress! blame the goverment.. blame the goverment..

ps: teachers day, this friday. W & U will be coming down to school, i think. pray for me, IMT! *smile widely*

*whinewhinewhine* pity momma because she had to hear me whinning early in the morning.

its 6.32 in the morning & i just woke up. i slept quite late last night but i managed to get myself infront of the pc this early thanks to my room-mate who pass all her germs to me. she kept coughing & sneezing like a mad dog & i had trouble sleeping through the night because the little wine flowing out from my nose non-stop causes me so much discomfort. i've been stuffing my nose with tissues, even when im asleep & since i couldn't get to sleep last night, i took a whole lot of panadols & act as if it's some kind of sleeping pills. it works literally but only for the first few hours. if this goes on, i don't know how im going to survive for school tml. i can't skip school & take MCs because im having mock prepatory exam this week *sighs*

*humming to the tune of the birthday song* HAPPY SWEET 16th to NUR RAMIZAH! :D stop disturbing me you katak & orix dosen't want to huggy huggy you :p & oh, i forgot to mention *chap teng2, chap teng2* this on the previous entry, HAPPY BELATED SWEET 16th to FAIZ, which falls on last Friday, 22 August 2008
*chap teng2* ( you better tell me, what's that, if not im going to taplek you! )

here's something random : i want to go to EUROPE on 11 September * v desperate, now* please.. please! i want to see ___ ! any kind souls who are willing to get a flight ticket to EUROPE & bring me there as well? *SMILE WIDELY*

im beginning to get sick. i feel like puking but nothing to puke. my head's dizzy & i feel weak all over. eyes are tired, nose is running & i have been sneezing non-stop. the worst is, my sore throat, im having trouble swallowing & breathing. i desperately need some medication & panadols has lost its effectiveness on me. i hate being sick & im not in the mood for any doctor. i hope to get well soon cause i hate this sick feeling. dear god, please help me.

i took a half-day leave on Thursday & i skipped school on Friday as well because the little migrane that attacked me on the Thursday morning had lead me to the condtition im in right now. i've been wasting & sleeping my day away eversince. whats more in this cold weather, i've been covering myself up with a thick blanket & my condition has worsen.

i wanted to apologize & explain things to NEHHHBRO but he wouldn't want to hear me. we're supposed to go out as planned last week either yesterday or today but i couldn't make it on both days because of the state im in right now. oh wells, its not his fault anyway, i didn't get the chance to tell him that IM SICK! maybe after he has cool down. what a waste, im missing all the fun that im supposed to have *sighs*

it seems that, i'll be spending my weekends rotting at home & lieing on my beatiful bed.

i have a phobia for love. once bitten, twice shy, i've to be extra careful now.

mixed emotions, what is going on? why am i so fucking into him? why can't i stop? why can't i let him go? why have i kept him wondering around my mind for so long? why am i longing & hoping for him?

good things for me NEVER last & i don't know why. what have i done wrong to be hurt like this? he was my first SERIOUS, as in long-term, relationship & he did made me truly happy once but now he's a jackass. i wish he didn't change. i wish he was the ONE thing that didn't have to turn out bad. what sucks, is i've to put up with all this drama & pain when i actually still love him with all my heart which im really really really trying not to. i know, i don't miss him. i miss the guy i thought he was, i miss the good&bad times we had, i miss that feeling i got whenever i speak to him. i REALLY don't want to love him but i do. i just want to get over him & move on but the problem is im not hating more & loving him less ever since but the other way round instead. i tried giving myself tons of reasons to get rid of this ridiculous "obsession". i just can't bring myself to regard him as everyone else. sometimes, i wonder if im under his " love spell ".

i love him. i love him so much. i hate him. i hate him. i hate him so much that i want to tear him open just like how he tore me open but i'll still love him too. * continues to untie the nervous knots in my stomach * i don't know how this can be, really, but it just is. it's just one of those things that has no explanation.

P/S: thanks ah bitch, you ruin my relationship & my life. damn you. even if you have gotten your karma, im still ain't happy with it, everything.

i was movie-marathoning during the weekend & i had to watched The Dark Knight & The Mummy again. i think i forgot to mention this, i accidentally fell asleep while watching them with yaya because the day before, i didn't get enough sleep & so i missed on some parts therefore i have to watch it all over again in order to get the whole story. i would rate both of it a 4.5/5 & i like the part where the joker said " Wanna know how I got these scars? My father was....a drinker. And a fiend. And one night he goes off crazier than usual. Mommy gets the kitchen knife to defend herself. He doesn't like that. Not. One. Bit. So, me watching, he takes the knife to her, laughing while he does it. Turns to me and he says "Why so serious?" Comes at me with the knife,"Why so serious?" He sticks the blade in my mouth. "Lets put a smile on that face!" And..... Why so serious? " Scary you know with his face expression that way. Joker = physco. i even get to watch Prom Night, another scary movie but it was good thou. i shouldn't have listen to what WANEHHH say when she said that it wasn't good. *regrets* movies not yet released like meet dave, forgetting sarah marshall, mamma mia, where in the world is Osama Bin Laden? as well as the Nc-16 movie ( sorry but i just had to stress on the word Nc-16) The Love Guru. i would rate it a 4/5. kinda lame, only on some parts, but i could not deny it was hilarious. i recommend you people to watch it, a must watch. " Give me a pound. Lock it down. Break the pickle, tickle tickle. " - that shall be "OUR" handshake from now on *winks*

i just had both double chocolate & caramel frappe. be jealous people, i get to drink two different kind of frappes at the same time. call me greedy, i don't care, as long as im happy & satisfy :D thanks to NEHHHBRO who came all the way from tampines to gombak just to deliver two ________ frappes. as a result, it MELTED & so i had to freeze it again. as p.romised, WE DID THAT HANDSHAKE! I GOT TICKLED NON-STOP IN PUBLIC & PEOPLE SAW ME SCREAMING AWAY LIKE A MAD WOMAN. *v embarassing* -_- ihateyou. pffffft!

Shaiful accompanied me to the bustop today & i introduced him to that cutie at the bridge. he kept going "ohh-ahh-ewww" jealous or what?! :D

PRELIMS are over! but that's not the end because i still have Ns. the last day of examination are always the best, for me, because for every examination i sat for, the last one will always be Art. 3 hours for Art will always be a never enough for me. i was rushing to finish it up during the Sa1 & now, im still rushing to finish it up for Prelims. All thanks to Faiz & his "whatever-cap-teng2". eventhough the Art students are the smallest group compared to F&N & D&T but can be labelled as the noisiest group. from the start to during to the end of the exam, we were mumbling,laughing,talking&making jokes like nobodys bussiness.

for the first time, i felt that History & Maths paper 1 are quite easy but still, i don't have any confidence that i can pass. no paper on Monday which means NO SCHOOL! *FINALLY* im going to make sure i will wake up very very late & i want to go out & go back late so that i don't have to come to school Tuesday! :D

today is Joseph Adam Jonas 19th Birthday! :D & im going to snatch him back from NURATIKAHRASMAN *seemekillher* LAUGHOUTLOUD


P/S: im falling head over heels for caucasian dudes *SMILES*

FRIDAY; my plans & surprises for her didn't went on smoothly. i had everything sorted out nicely but it was almost ruined. luckly, the movie timings only differ abit. first movie was The Mummy : tomb of the dragon emperor followed by The Dark Knight, the movie which we have been want-ing to watch, but sadly we still haven't get the chance to watch Promnight. afterwhich we procedd to LJS &guess who we saw there. another ex student from batok whom i have v much, none other than, SHEILA. those who know her, good for you. those who dosen't, well too bad. we kept staring & looking (as in jeling) at each other. the sight of her makes me want to pukeee! afterwhich, we proceed to L9 ; E2max, the place where tons of HOOOT Caucasian(s) are scattering around. i'll never get sick/bored of going there because they're so f HOT! i screamed at YAYA when i saw different kinds of them. there's this particular Caucasian in a group, with Mats, he's so HOT & F SEXY, because he's bald, i melted the moment i saw him & we exchanged smiles :D we even saw Samuie, the Baps *ew?!* gotta there close to 10 & reached home almost to 11. eventhough, i din't get to window-shop & walk around town but at least i had my "FUN" there *winks*

SATURDAY; i hate NEHHHBRO for the last minute cancellation of our firework date. stayed at home for the whole day with family. it was fun still because they're able to make me LAUGHOUTLOUD & happy 43rd singapore.

SUNDAY; spend half of the day at yaya's crib. her momma asked me to went over because she's giving out some clothings. thanks yawww, it was beautifuul!

& the whole of today was spend on doing N level art. im totally worn out from the going in and out of house for so many times just to photocopy a couple of papers. i was in a foul mood all day long. people called, people texted, i ignored & sorry-to-whoever who called me for alot of times. i don't want any disturbance when im busy or else you'll get it from me. i've yet to study for tml's paper. no more time left, it's late now. i need some sleep. bye people, im off to lala landd :D

he managed to cool down after sometime & talk things out in a nice kinda way. after sorting out things, misunderstandings between us last night, we're still friends. things may not be the same like before but at least we're alright now.

im still in the process of healing & sometimes, i just break down. crying dosen't help & bring back things but it sure feels good to let it out. there is no point waiting for someone who dosen't appreciate you. i don't see why you should make yourself an unhappy person & continue staying with someone who dosen't want you.

i cried silently in class just now. i was reminiscing the past & how my heart got broken for so many times within a year. from that darling jerk of used-to-be-mine & now my pillar of strength who went hiding again. i've yet to figured out why but it seems that i've been screwing up all my recent relationship(s). i don't wish to get heartbroken again & hurt any soul labelled, guy. that explains why i've been avoiding you Epit. after maman went missing, you were the one who has always made my day. thanks for that but i just can't bring myself to layan (idk what's that in english) *YOU GUYS* anymore. that applys to you too, NEHHHBRO.

for the first time, i enjoyed History lesson simply because i spent an hour plus hearing story-telling from girlfriend & how she's enjoying life right now. jealous it may seems but still, im happy for her. go on girl, you have my support! if owl dare to hurt you in whatever ways, do inform me cause im gonna lenyek him & turn him to a penyek owl. one more thing, stop thinking of giving him up after the two-year-plus waiting(?). psst, bring it to the next level, baby :)


just remember it is a transition phase and everyone can get over it.

heartpain after heartpain.

yesterday's heartpain not yet healed. im not mad, just sad with you. guys will always be guys. one after another kept proving me wrong. good guys dosen't exist anymore. i keep telling myself - there is still good guys around, only that they're still hidden or stucked somewhere but yet *YOU GUYS* keep proving me wrong. *YOU GUYS* keep behaving like jerks. 8 years apart of me - you're nomore a child, you're alr a matured man for goodness sake, please behave like one. continue behaving like this & i tell you, i will ignore you totally! mark my words. im giving you one last chance, you'd better treasure it.

i went to check my ATM balance money just now & guess what .. *HEARTPAINNNN!* momma really did it! she won't be transfering this month allowance just because i accidentally use up all her 300bucks in it. explanation after explanation, yet she still ignores it. i told her alr that im going to return her back all the 300bucks back by the end of next month but still .. *SEE WHAT HAPPEN* now i only have a pathetic one buck & idk how many cents left in my acc *SIGHS*

oh yes, i screwed up my papers. from mt to english to ss. there won't be anymore papers after today & the rest of the papers will only resume next week which means tml onwards, lessons resume as per normal *SIGHS* i was right in saying that prelims are going to very difficult *SEE WHAT HAPPEN!*

PS: i saw this hot hot hot stripey greenwhite guy at the bus interchange just now & i swear, i couldn't take my eyes off him. he was so fucking hot, no lie! *SMILES WIDELY, WIDER THAN USUAL*

SYED MONZIL BIN SYED ABDUL RAHMAN SHAHAB.
this is late grandpa & he's death has alr been published in the newspaper (Berita Harian) last friday. if you people want to see the clearer version of his picture, go&find&read last's friday newspaper, you'll see this.

i had a great weekend *smiles widely* i went nowhere. study-ing with girlfriends as usual was cancelled & so was the outing on sunday with NEHHH. i didn't even went to late grandpa's tahlil on saturday. i stayed at home on both days & was hogging on the phone most of the time with NEHHH BRO. only you know, what we did & how much fun we had last weekend eventhough it was just through the phone. don't forget our date & fireworks this weekend *winks*

oh yes, Prelim just started today & i've only studied abit for tml's SS paper. god!

after the paper, wik & i rushed to WM because she couldn't stand any longer, she has been craving it for a longgg period of time.

*PRESENTING* ------- GUESS WHERE WE ARE.

spent close to 50bucks & it is definitely worth it! when's our next date? this time at Heeren, okay? with more people *smiles*

currently, im waiting for NEHHHBRO to finish work & afterwhich, we'll talk on the phone all night

take one step at a time, there's no need to rush
it's like learning to fly or falling in love
it's gonna happen, when it's, supposed to happen
& you'll know the reason why

could be yours, one day *smiles*


P/S; you'll be dead on the 18th biatch!

thank god its friday! * smiles widely * but im not looking forward for the weekend.

because im going to study & revise for the coming prelims, alone. its getting me crazy & i have to finish my 5 boards no matter what.

another hectic week.
teachers been drilling us with only TYS during lessons & it works, literally. prelims on monday & im so not prepared yet! but if we fail for prelims it will be alright, won't it? it won't be counted for Ns right? i can't wait to sit for Ns - idk why, i just have that feeling to go through it quickly. HOHOHO! this past few weeks has been a rather sad week for me & girlfriends - FRIENDSHIP problems. one after another fighting because of a small mis-understanding but there won't be any get-back-together for the guyfriends. unless they change their frigging behaviour & zip their big mouth, maybe i/we will consider to be friends with them again. if not, i won't allow any of my girlfriends to communicate with them until they've really really repent.

dheQIs. last year pic; we went break-fasting together at Bagus & we went to Geylang w/o eera because she's ____ & i went home in a druken state,rmb?
what happen to us? i won't be talking about this if one of you didn't bring out about this matter. where has the Qis gone to? where's kiwak? where's kiwek? where's kiwik? where's kiwuk? each of you are always busy with your own life *sighs* that includes me, of course. Qis, if you get the chance to read this : do you remember when's the last time the Qis went out together? it was when we went to Anand house & that wasn't even an outing. the last outing was celebrating wek's birthday, rmb? & when was that? 5 DECEMBER 2007. i hope, that you all will organise another outing AFTER N'S & enjoy ourself like the good old times. at the same time, we could also sort things out right? for now, just concentrate on studies & i hope that we will be promoted to sec 5 together.

imy, razman. i hope the private phonecalls i've received all this while, is from you.

its 12 in the morning & im still waiting. you made me wait for nothing, you made me excited for nothing. here's the truth, i still love you. p/s: 3rdmonthsary

overdue pictures of RacialHarmony. i still got alot more but its with Syakir & Mal ; they have not upload it in the pc * slaps forehead *

i was doing my art reasearch just now when i came across this blog about the african style of braiding hair. suddenly, i find it interesting & did a research on it. appreantly, it only cost 30-50 bucks for the whole head. for me, its quite cheap & i thought of giving it a try, what do you think? i need your opinions. but does it suit my circle face?

do you know i've tried & tried to get you otta my mind but i don't get any better. as each day goes by & im lost & confused. i didn't mean to ramble on but there's alot of feelings that still remain since you been gone. i guess you thought i would put it all behind me but it seems there's always something right there to remind me like a silly joke or something on the tv. boy, it ain't easy when i hear our sone, i get the same old feeling. wish i could press rewind & turn back the hands of time. did you know i still kept all your pictures & us because i don't have the strength to part with them. i tried to ease the way your kisses taste but somethings i can never forget. i shouldn't be telling you this but IM STILL NOT OVER YOU!

this is the second post of the day.

i am alr starting to feel the pressure. prelims are coming SOON. i wanna get over & done with it quickly so that i can sit for Ns quickly too. that way, i can have my holidays faster, right? though i hate the fact that i actually have to study. i P.ROMISED momma that i will study hard & im doing it right now but not alot. im the type who can't keep the mouth shut during lessons, crack jokes & laugh laugh laugh unecessarily. im not clever & i NEED to pay attention & understand but i can't do all that, maybe because of the people surrounding me? but i can't blame them because when its their turn to keep the mouth shut, i'll be THE ONE talking to myself, singing & laughing which makes them join in with what i were doing. what should i dooo? i can't concentrate! myfgod.

im pissed with H & gonna blog about him now!
ihate you, goody-goody bootlicker. stop putting on an act infront of girlfriends & me. they maybe comfy with you hanging around us (maybe NOT!) but IM DEFINITELY NOT okay with that. you're a guy, go & hang with your guy friends instead of us. i know, guys do hang around with girls sometimes but not always & all the time right? you call yourself a guy but you don't look & act like one! you don't do what other guys do & your way of walking, talking, screaming, even you're action aren't like one. im disgusted by it, very. you're like a .. GAY! don't get mad when i call you a gay because even other girls call you that but not infront of you, maybe because they don't wish to hurt your feelings.

you're alr like that & your mouth, MINTAK AMPUN, like a GIRRL! far worst than us. you attention seeker biatch, stop influencing girlfriends with yout UNTRUTH stories, news & infos please! i bet about the divorce of your parents aren't true too. you were happy-happy-ing all the way except for recess. you tried emo-ing & get sympathy from us, right right right? it its true, you would be feeling sad the whole day in school & won't even have the mood to LOL. if you wish to make up a story or lie, know how to do & be clever about it. big time hypocrite. infront of mine girlfriend, you tried being nice to her & blah blah blah but once she's gone from the scene, you'll start your nonsense. say this & that bad thing about her. do you know you're saying all that to the wrong person. if i were to tell all that what you told us about girlfriend, you gonna be a dead-meat. one last thing, stop digging we, girls secrets & being a kaypoh! MYOB because i know you can't keep secrets & will spread it to the others.

p/s: bootlicker, you should know who you're & im sure you're gonna stumble upon my blog & read this. oh, try listening to the song Take a Bow by Rihanna because im dedicating that song especially for you.

the world is black, & the hearts are cold.

why isn't there everyone or anyone who will ever appreciate all the big or even the tiniest things i did for them & when i point it out, they'd turn it back at me, i shouldn't play the pointing game at the very beginning or i shouldn't have made sacrifices at all. i always tell myself to stop being nice & stop making the world a better place but again & again i go against it. i guess, its nature. when will anyone ever see the good things i've done for them, realised that it takes effort & time to sacrifice something.

right now, i just wish there's boyfriend to comfort me & take away all the pain. or maybe just NEH BRO who could take over his place while he's MIA.

p/s: i'll rather be a loner. i'll be more independent. i'll be less hurtful. i'll be more happier. i'll be what i wanna be. it's like way better off.

i'll just sum up what happened during my week of school - though nothing extraordinary happened - in no particular order / days / what not.

it has been a tiring & sad week. keeping mum for 8 hours is so not fun.

over the weekend, i buried myself with books & went studying with shahidah & OBFF. i kinda miss her. now that we're back together again, i shall treasure this friendship & never to let it go again.

while having fun studying with them, momma text & told me that grandpa ( father's side ) is already in the critical state but is still at home ; not yet brought to hospital as he dosen't want to. on the wee hours of sunday morning, we got a call from them saying that grandpa died at auntie's home at 2.35. we rushed over to Admiralty to get the ceremony over & done. now, im just left with a grandma (mom's side) & i've p.romised to myself not be rude to her after i experienced with grandpa's death.

dear diary, lemme tell you about my story. i feel that it's rather sad.

i don't know if this is right or wrong. we had an "argument" recently & now we're not on talking terms. all i want is for everything to be in the right place & everyone being happy. is that too much to ask for? she told me that she is my friend & yet i got treated like this by her. sometimes, i just felt that i was being used. i feel so left out. who was there everytime she needed someone to be with when there's no one around her? should i make the first move & apologize, when i did nothing wrong? maybe to her this maybe stupid & a small matter but hey, she hurt my feelings, okay?! i won't ignore anyone without any reasons. angry is not the exactly the right word. i don't know what im supposed to do now. confusion is all over me. this is how i feel about our friendship since the FIRST argument

P/S: i still NEED a friend like you

RACIAL HARMONY DAY!


more pictures, coming right up :)

* click on the pictures to view the larger version*

SYF Carnival in the Heartlands (West) at IMM

the Malay dancers of Dazhong pri (only the ones who dance during the SYF ; only half were choosen) got invited to perform for the carnival at Garden Plaza. sinced both Shaiful & Wiyah are performing, the whole family came down, to support. watch the video above to see them dancing.

Pictures of Me & Siblings. First is Shaiful followed by Adawiyah & finally Azhar. Wiyah look pretty with makeups on. i almost couldn't recognized her when she went up to the stage because believe it or not, eventhough she has performed for so many times, i've never seen her like that.

so.. im gonna end this post with a picture of us together. its a bit blur but nevermind, at least there's something. CREDITS for pictures & video : FATHER! he don't know how to take, that's why everything turns out like this.

oh before i forget, this is the batik pictures i've promised you people! * here you go * okay, mine on the left, jenna's on the right. isn't it obvious that jenna's batik is nicer than mine? HAH! more details than mine. over & done with, concentrating on the 5 boards now...